for a long time i lived looking only at the future, making choices based on what the outcome would be in the long run. i used to write a lot. composing lists of goals, plans, things i wanted to learn, people i wanted to be.

poems were quests.

my life has always been taking a step back, observing, taking it all in and then try and make sense of it. arming myself with as much as i could for when i should need it. always preparing, hoping, dreaming for something intangible.

but future came earlier than i thought. it took me by surprise and startled me, shaking up routines and certainties.

the thing about growing up is that you don't expect it to end. and in a way, of course, it doesn't. but the world doesn't stop turning just because you don't think you're there yet. where is there?

i have tried writing about this so many times, but each time it doesn't feel right.

i have lost my words
but i've found myself.

i think that's it.

one search stops, another begins


Telescope eyes

we went all the way up 
and looked at the stars
looked at each other
and our eyes might have thought
infinity was visible

when you look at life
through a telescope
you will find that no matter
how hard you try to hold on
earth is moving

i am, i think
i have no more proof than this

from here



Tilt-shift, as we turn our heads
and try to wake up 
to a wish-upon world.